I stumbled on conditions because of the proven fact that I happened to be an enormous
in the glorious 12 months of 2004.

I found myself a greasy-faced teenage just who cleaned my face


with hands-on facial cleanser every single night and feverishly paid attention to Ani Difranco while driving the college shuttle in the morning. I happened to be the consummate gay child in the early 2000s, We adored
Tegan and Sara
, masturbated to girls exactly who appeared as if Justin Beiber, and had severe side bangs. Oh, what an occasion as alive!

Let’s be honest about something: getting a homosexual child in the early 2000s was actually several things. Chic had not been one of those.

The first 2000s were not one particular advanced time for everyone — and united states queer bitches were no exception to this rule towards guideline. It simply was not many, uh, “cultured” minute ever. There was clearly no cool 70s Warhol manufacturer to spatter paint and get drugs at, we did not have a badass lesbian supermodel like
from inside the 80s, and we lacked the angst-ridden, shaved-head, militant advantage the
90s dyke
held thus beautifully. We weren’t especially artful or underground or


— but we had been enjoyable. We were salacious as f*ck. We viewed reality television all day on end and lusted after Nicole Richie. We existed the glam and glitz in early 2000s — perhaps not for artwork or songs or theater or movie.

And that’s why us
millennial gays
are so really stunted. We spent my youth rocking diamonte studded devices and singing along to Katy Perry. We’d no right blueprint to be a genuine gay person out in society, honey. End up being mild on united states.


Here are 9 surefire signs you also, were a gay child in early 2000s.

1. You or some body you dated (or silently crushed on) had a Beiber haircut!

The 90s were everything about the combat shoes as well as the shaved head. Early 2000s were about lesbians which bore a freaky similarity to Justin Beiber. You had beenn’t homosexual if you didn’t often contemplate getting the Justin Beiber haircut, dated some body with a Beiber haircut or simply just crushed hard on a Beiber dyke you came across via MySpace! (Where your page tune ended up being more than likely “So Jealous” by Tegan and Sara).

2. Dani Campbell had been the idol.

Or no lez includes the substance from the early 2000s it’s
Dani f*cking Campbell
, infant (an old
GO Magazine
address girl)! Before Tila Tequila converted into a
mentally-disturbed neo-nazi,
she was actually the star associated with basic
local bisexual dating
online dating show “a try at adore.” Just in case you had been a young adult in the early 2000s you obsessively watched “an attempt at adore” and lusted


after Dani Campbell, the sweet firefighter dyke-next-door which stole the lesbian hearts of a complete generation.

The best most important factor of Dani Campbell? She defined as “futch” (a hybrid of femme and butch) which became the best phrase that I appreciated to lezplain to any or all of my right pals.

3. you’re positively an energetic person in the first GSA at the class.

The Gay-Straight Alliance was actually the hippest shit in senior high school. Just in case you were a working member of the GSA within twelfth grade in early 2000s, you probably were a founding user. You are going to go down ever, girl.

The GSA ended up being a sacred place where every musical theatre gay kids and closeted softball player women could meet up and pretend become radical “allies” towards the homos, despite the fact that they were all huge homos themselves.

4. Slutty vests outed you to definitely yours type.

Pic by @mediocrelesbianmemes

I’m not sure whether it had been
The L Word
exactly who made the naughty lesbian vest therefore gorgeously renowned — but regardless, we had been vest-obsessed. Individually, I rocked an absolute tee-shirt underneath mine on maybe not get knocked of class, but it nonetheless did an excellent task of outing me to others closeted lesbian adolescents within my class. Easily watched a woman in a vest inside hallway on instinct, I would personally nod my mind at her and she would nod dutifully right back.

I didn’t know, learn this is the delicate “lesbian nod” we bestow upon our very own sort once we see ’em shed in the great outdoors, but in a method, I


. It actually was inborn in my lesbian DNA. Like a love of bamboo and
the Indigo women.

5. Ani Difranco ended up being your higher-power.

Ani Difranco’s
misinterpreted femme lez anthem “The Little Plastic Castle” was released in 1998, but it was pre-Spotify hottie. And us gay adolescents found cool songs

many years

after it arrived — it isn’t really like we were of sufficient age to go to underground organizations inside the area.

All my man child dykes appreciated the track “the small vinyl Castle” so we screamed along to it we drove through the suburbs cigarette smoking, rushing and terrorizing the good area with your homosexual anxiety.

“some one call the girl authorities and submit a study!”

6. You sobbed to Tori Amos on Sunday evenings.

Though Tori had been no lez, all young lezzies wept to Tori constantly! It had been the collective sunday night regimen. We identified together because she was a red-head and red-heads were special like you. And like, this lady tortured gorgeous ballads just like, spoke to your challenge.

7. The L Word flipped your own world ugly.

Photo by Showtime

L Word
was released in 2004 while I was at the peak of my gay-teen awkwardness. My world was actually rocked. No, it absolutely was flipped. Ugly. Unexpectedly I’d little idea which means was kept and which means ended up being correct.

I Am Talking About; I’d never seen a group of attractive lesbians residing their best life —

ever before

— prior to and it royally f*cked me personally right up! In a great way!

8. You definitely went “walking with ghosts” all damn time!

Pic by istock

“I happened to be strolling With A Ghost” by
Tegan and Sara
was actually one ever pop tune by lesbians (twins not less!) that we have you ever heard bursting through radio. It made me feel, therefore observed.

Speaking of seen….

9. You had been a complete effing scenester.

All scene kid ladies in the early 2000s appeared type of homosexual into the plastic-rimmed dyke cups and extreme area bangs and quick bob haircuts — which fitted you


We’re able to show our blatant gayness nevertheless slip according to the radar. Plus all those things emo songs really spoke to our obviously melodramatic dyke souls.

9. You were just your own real home on Myspace.

In school, I got a boyfriend. A skater boi whom rocked black colored nail enamel and performed in a death metal group. On Myspace, I experienced a girlfriend. She lived-in Orange County, Ca and commented on every image I uploaded. I cherished their. Never met the girl. But We

liked the girl.